A friend's last goodbye

I wondered why she asked for me to come to the cemetery. It was really early in the morning and the city was not fully awake yet, but I could hear the sweet chirping of the birds. Despite the the atmosphere being calm, I couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. 

My best friend had not come to school for the past few days. She didn't pick up my calls nor did she reply to my texts. I went over to her house to check up on her and their neighbor told they weren't home. She didn't know where they had gone. Kinsely would never keep something from me. We were friends from 1st grade and since then we were inseparable. I always felt like we were twins even though we couldn't be more different in looks. I was blonde, tall and had brown eyes with a hint of green whilst she had a curtain of jet black hair that stopped at her shoulders with baby blue eyes and also was a couple of inches shorter than me. But that didn't stop us from being the best of friends. We were always there for each other and I'm pretty sure neither one of us could live without the other. Even if she did go away for a few days, she would tell me. I had no idea what happened and it was worrying me.

I arrived at the gate of the cemetery. It was slightly ajar. Today was her father's death anniversary. I bought a wreath for him. The death of her father was something that affected her so much that I was afraid that she would never be the same again. But she stayed strong strong for her mother and her two younger sisters. She knew that crying wouldn't bring him back. Even though I've never told anyone, Kinsely was kind of my role model.  But I knew that I could never be like her. No one ever could.

I went in and I could see the faint markings of her shoe on the damp soil. The soil was always damp here. I trudged along the stone path. I could see her small figure in the distance. She was crouched down next to her father's grave. She was whispering something to him. As I walked closer to her I noticed that she looked somewhat tired. I could see dark circles below her eyes. She looked thinner. For a person with very bright eyes, today it looked devoid of any light. My heart was beating very fast. Something was definitely wrong. She looked up.

For a second her eyes flickered with some emotion before going back to their previous dull state. She gave me a small smile, but I could tell it was forced. I put the wreath on his grave. I looked at her waiting for her to say something but she stayed silent.. I decided to break the ice.

'You didn't answer my calls'

'I know' 

'You didn't reply to my texts'

'I know'

'I came over to your house'

'I know'

'Kinsely, what are you hiding from me?!' 

'Mia....... I'm scared.' Her lower lip trembled like she was about to cry. Her eyes  filled with tears and they started streaming down her pale pretty face. I hugged her. We stayed like that for some time. I waited for her to stop crying as she didn't look like she was in a state to talk. I tried to cheer her up. 

'Mia?'

'Yes?'

'Promise me that you'll listen to me calmly. '

I hesitated for a bit before saying 'I Promise.'

'Now, where do I start?' She paused for a second before continuing. 'You know that I am very prone to infections,  right? I nodded.

'Yeah, well a couple of days ago, I wan't feeling very well and I came down with a very high fever. So I called Mom and told her to come home. By the time she came, I couldn't even stand up properly. Then she called a cab and we went to the hospital. I was taken to the physician and she told that we might want to consult a Pediatric hematologist.' She sighed heavily. 'Umm, who is a ''hematologist''? I asked. 'You know very well that science has never been my cup of tea.' I said making a face. She let out a small laugh. Okay, that is some improvement. Not much but it's still something.

'A "hematologist" is someone who specializes in diseases of the blood and bone marrow.' She looked at me, searching my face for any emotion. I felt as if shards of glass punctured my lungs. I couldn't breathe properly. 'What happened after that?' I managed to choke out. 'She was a really nice doctor. She asked me a lot of questions. She was unnervingly calm.' She said, avoiding the subject. 'Your not telling me what she said.' I said. My voice was a bit too harsh. I almost knew what she was about to say. Still, I wanted to hear it from her. I hoped that my assumption was wrong. 'Mia, I'm...... I'm diagnosed with stage 4 of leukemia'. She said biting her lip, obviously trying not to cry again but she wasn't fooling anyone.

I could feel my own eyes blurring with tears. They came out hot and burning on my face. I felt as if my heart would burst from the weight of my agony. She was crying too but silently. Her chin was quivering. I haven't seen her cry like this ever before. She was always the strong one between the two of us. Seeing her so vulnerable made me feel so useless. I have to be brave for her. Crying is not going to cure her disease. I sat closer to her and wiped her tears. 'Don't cry, please.' I said. 'And I'm pretty sure leukemia is curable.' 

'No, Mia, it's too late for me. The treatment is not going to work. I know it . I don't have a lot of time left. I feel....... tired. ' she said. I somehow felt like this was my fault. 'Don't blame yourself. This has nothing to do with you.' she said reading my mind. 'But why did it have to be you of all people? I can't live without you.' 'No, you can and you will show me that you can' she said, her face sporting the look when she was determined about something. 'It's not easy, we've been friends for 11 years now, you want me to forget you?' I said, angry that she was so calm about it. 'No, Don't forget about me but I don't want you cry over me. I've accepted the fact that I'm going to die. I want you to do that too.'

I took a few deep breaths and we shared a long, meaningful silence.  I smiled. 'I will try, but its going to be hard and plus you didn't die yet so let's make this the best day of your life..... and mine.' I said with a wink. Saying that we set off to all the places that we wanted to visit. We reminisced a lot of childhood memories. I made sure that she was happy. Soon it was nearing to the end of the day and she had to go back home. I dropped her at her home and walked towards mine. I fell asleep as soon as I made contact with the bed.

I woke up the next day, taking a moment to recall the events of the previous day. I felt hollow inside. But I wanted to be happy for her. I looked outside from my window. I could see the sun rising . A man was walking his dog, there were a few kids in the park in front of my home. Its funny how the world will always go on. I dressed quickly and went downstairs.

I saw my mother sitting at the table, worry lines creasing her smooth forehead. 'What happened, Mom? I asked wondering why she looked so stressed. She looked at me 'Good morning, dear, I have to tell you something. You should listen to me patiently.' She said. 'Okay....' I said. I could feel tension building inside me. 'Yesterday night, Kinsely was very ill and was taken to the hospital. Her...... disease got worse. The doctors couldn't do much. She's gone, Mia. I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know how you'd react.' she looked at me as if I was going to burst. 

I ran upstairs, flung the door to my bedroom open and sat on the bed. I buried my face in my hands. I let out wet, ragged sobs. I cried for a long time. By the time I calmed myself, in other words I couldn't cry anymore, it was almost 5 in the evening. I looked out of the window. A bright red sun was setting. It was so breathtaking. I wondered if Kinsely was watching me. i looked up to the sky as if I was smiling at her. No, I wouldn't cry, she wouldn't want me too.

Exactly 1 year later (time skip):

Today was her death anniversary, I can't believe I spent a whole year without her. I turned 18 last week. I lived on just like she wanted me to but i remembered her every day. She was like this presence around me, like a guardian angel. I walked to her grave and knelt down. 'Hi, I hope your happy in heaven or wherever you are. I miss you so much, Kinsely. I wanted you to be there for my 18th birthday. But its fine, I know you were there and I baked a cake for your birthday too and ate it by myself.' I laughed. 

I looked at the bright blue sky. She was like a bright star that lit up my whole life the day I met her. She was always there, shining for me. And like all stars, she too faded away. But her light remained, still guiding me. 

I went over to her house to spend some time with her family. I realized that I was standing in the exact same place where my friend bid her last goodbye though I'm not really sure it was her last. I walked to her house and rang the doorbell. Her mother opened the door. She smiled at me and held the door open for me. I went inside.

                             THE END

Author's note

Okay.... so I know I didn't post for a long time. I was working on this story and another one. Ghost Orchid is still here. I don't know what to call whatever I wrote above. It's not really a story. Arrgh, I just wanted to work on this, felt good in my mind. Friends are very important to me, so maybe that's why this...... I don't know. This is not based on any real event, this is just something I wanted to do. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Don't forget to comment, and follow if you like what i post. Hopefully i'll be able to post more frequently. Oh! You should go check https://growingupsnotthateasy.blogspot.com/. Give @LifeasaKid some ideas and check out https://thefoxbookreviews.blogspot.com/. Both of them are really awesome. So much more better than me. So don't forget to check it out.